I am writing this from Taipei, my 4-hour layover stop before I head to Jakarta, my final destination. This is my first time here in Taiwan, and I step on this land with a bit of bittersweet sentiments.

I am a product of Mainland China. Even though I immigrated to the States as a kid and somewhat avoided the intensities of China-Taiwan foe, I am still very much a part of the strong political viewpoints I hear from individuals who are of “People’s Republic of China” and “Republic of China.”

While I feel that I don’t have a thorough understanding of the history to be able to stake a side, I am however, a bit sick and tired of hearing the personal stabs from both ends. To be honest, even while growing up in the States (and I’m certain of other parts of the world, such as Vancouver), I sense an internal battle and intentional divide amongst the Chinese population. People did not identify themselves as “Chinese,” but rather as “Taiwanese,” “Cantonese,” and “Mainlanders.” Each label carried its own connotations. For example, it was my personal impression that certain the Taiwanese and Cantonese individuals looked down upon the Mainlanders because they were perceived as poor and fobby. On the other hand, certain Mainlanders perceived Taiwanese as arrogant and whiny. There were clearly status at play, and everyone had something to prove.

Earlier this year in a Leadership Communication class, we had to do a speech on a controversial topic. A Taiwanese friend approached me after our assignment and timidly asked me if I would be okay if he were to do a speech on “Free Taiwan from China.” I’ve always chosen to take on a bystander position in the matter, and was a bit surprised when he thought he may offend me. “Of course not! I would love to learn more about it.”

This was a friend who had consistently been very shy about public speaking. Yet during the 8 minutes of his speech, he was a different person, full of passion and conviction. It was insightful to hear his perspectives- Taiwan gets no representation for the Olympics, being a part of a “country” that’s not recognized on many MBA applications, etc.

I try not to let my personal feelings and bias takeover, yet as I walk on this land that had been closed to direct flights from Mainland China for nearly 60 years, I can’t help but feel bittersweet, in many conflicting ways. It wasn’t till July 4th (interesting date) of this year, when the first regualr, direct flight finally landed at the Taipei airport.

What’s next? Only time will tell, influenced by the economic markets and political parties. In the meantime, I’m glad to have the chance to write down the feelings that I had been holding inside.